But then one day...I wake up and it just hits me. There's no warning, no sign, nothing. It's just there... like this sudden heaviness is over me from the minute I wake up and I can feel it creeping inside me; it starts in my head, like a fog it clouds my ability to think clearly and clutters my ability to think logically.Read More
What They Don't Tell You About The Terrible Two's
Alright, if you're a parent I know you've heard about this god-forsaken phase of toddler-hood when your child suddenly changes form and manifests into some sort of unworldly life form (also known as the "terrible twos"). Oh so you've heard of it? Sweet. Glad we're all on the same page (can you tell from my sarcasm I'm dealing with a two year old at the moment?)
This isn't my first goat rodeo here, when Rozalyn, (now four) was two, I never dealt with this "dreaded" stage, in fact, I remember wondering when the next shoe would drop...but when I became a mom to a boy...well let's just say the twos have been a little bit different of an experience.
Obviously your second time around is completely different from your first; and as a "well seasoned" mother I thought I had it all figured out when my second (Justus) was born. But I'm not going to lie, he made my life easy during his first year. He was the sweetest, sleepiest, most content baby ever. I thought he had quite possibly broken every stereotypical baby mold out there!
However, I was, yet again just waiting for the next shoe to drop and well...I'm can confidently tell you that it did indeed drop, and very loudly I might add. Except what they DIDN'T tell me about the terrible two's was that it was going to be less about the tantrums and more about the...
1. Lack of listening
Listen...yes, LISTEN! This kid may look cute, act cute, smile cute, and bat his frickin' cute eyelashes at you but holy moly this kid is just about the WORST listener you will ever meet. No matter how many different ways I yell at him, talk nicely to him, warn him of the consequences, or chase after him...there is no getting through to this little guy. Not to mention...
2. Getting In Trouble Is Suddenly The Funniest Thing Ever
Similar to number one, no matter how loudly I yell or sternly lower my voice, (not only does he not listen) I instantly become the worlds funniest mom. Which only makes my patience level increase that much more (I wish). But if I'm being honest...this particular one makes my blood boil. I have tried just about every parenting tactic out there and the laughing just continues. And you guys I promise you I'm not that funny! Which reminds me...
3. Life Becomes A Constant Game Of Tag
I think part of the reason why this particular fitness journey of mine is going so well is because I get so many extra steps in a day chasing this stinking toddler! Ok...slight exaggeration but seriously...running away has become the name of the game for this little dude. Not only does he think it's incredibly funny for me to scold him, he thinks it's even funnier if he runs away WHILE I'm scolding him...WHY?! Like why?????
4. Tummy Aches Can Happen On Command
This little cherade started a couple weeks ago when he truly had the stomach bug; I didn't make him eat dinner and allowed him to go lay down in his bed for the remainder of the evening and the next evening it happened again, and again the next, and the next. Until one evening I got my wits about me and realized this little two year old is pulling the wool over my eyes! His stomach didn't hurt, he just didn't want to eat his broccoli!
5. Shoes Are Optional
I didn't think I could EVER hate putting on shoes so much in my life. But man this kid defies all the shoe wearing laws. And consequently I have stopped caring...so if you see my kid running barefoot throughout the parking lot, mall, or grocery store, it's because I have hit my shoe return quota for the day and don't give a......moving on.
6. "I Can Do It" Mentality
The "I can" pour my own milk, "I can" wash my hair, "I can" wash my sisters hair, "I can" wash the dishes, "I can" put my shoes on...wait, actually..."HELP ME!!! I can't do it." Can you feel my struggle ladies? It's like I'm at a constant state of whiplash from all the back and forth banter of this little human.
What other things do your two year olds do?? I'd LOVE to hear!!
OBVIOUSLY, I love this kid to pieces and while I do occasionally deal with the tantrums, I thought a list of all the things you DON'T often hear about when it comes to the terrible twos would be rather enjoyable. If you're a mom to a two year old cheers to you! Let's all fight the good fight together!
Thanks for stopping by! xoxo, Tessa
*P.S. HAVE YOU SEEN MY RECENT T-SHIRT LINE?? 20% of my "She IS Brave" collection is going back to an organization that supports women that have been sold into human sex trafficking. Support the thousands of victims today but buying a shirt of your own!
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This stage of motherhood has kicked me in the butt. Often days I'm day dreaming about the future, gleaming over self-induced bedtime, the kids being able to actually bath themselves, getting packed into the car in less than 30 minutes, not having to get up from the dinner table for the 7th time because someone decided they actually did want a spoon instead of a fork; you know the little things that come with raising a young family (insert the rolling eye emoji here).Read More
I wrote a while back about how I'd Rather Not Play With My Children and I felt like that was a hot topic for a lot of you moms out there, which I absolutely love because it just solidifies that it truly does "take a village!" Am I right? However, as liberating as that was to admit and to have so much social backing, it doesn't negate the continued guilt I feel on a daily basis.
I think most parents right off the bat know exactly what I'm talking about. And for me, the guilt can be so tangible at times that it often stunts my ability to parent the way I know I was created to. It's funny because, when we learn we are about to become parents we quickly want to read all these books on "how to be the perfect parent" when in reality there is, 1. no such thing, 2. no clear understanding of what it even means to be a parent, and 3. a complete unawareness of the fact that we were each made so differently and no one parenting method is "the end all, be all."
No disrespect to all the great advice out there in the world, but I sometimes feel that we sell ourselves short so often in life. We don't trust ourselves our own instincts (yes, those actually do exist) or the fact that we can actually be great at something without first being told "how to" do something. When we don't know something, we run to google; when we don't know the directions, we plug them into our GPS; when we don't know how to operate a power tool, we read manuals like "Power Tools For Dummies" (ok maybe I'm stretching it here a little bit, but you get the picture!).
So here I was, this past Wednesday, spending an entire day devoted to being intentional with my children and I truly felt like I was doing a really good job. I was playing card games, conducting wrestling matches, writing ridiculous songs about the rain with my four year old and playing them on my guitar; I was even playing pretend for heavens sake! I mean I would have probably given myself a gold star that day if I could have...just saying' I was totally killin' it at the whole "mom thing."
But then all the sudden I started noticing something, one thing led to another thing, and this activity led to that activity, and quickly all my "feel good" feelings became "feel bad" feelings. It seemed like the more effort I put into being "intentional" with my parenting, the more it became not enough.
If I said I would play for 30 minutes and ended up playing for 45, it still wasn't enough; if I told them best 3 out of 5 on this card game, it wasn't enough; if I played that song 12 dozen times, it still wasn't enough. And by the end of the day I was exhausted from the whiplash effect I was experiencing. I was thinking..."wait a minute, shouldn't I be experiencing the opposite feelings right now? I mean, I'm being a kick-ass mom right now and it's still not enough for them."
My husband came home to my "sitting in the princess tent, playing 'bat-girl'" phase of the day and man I was RELIEVED when he walked in the door. I don't think I've jumped up like that to greet him in a long time! When I joined him upstairs he asked me how my day was going...hanging my head in defeat I answered, "it was going really well...I mean, it IS going really well...I don't know, I'm just exhausted. I feel like it's never enough. I'M never enough"
He looked up at me and responded so certainly, "you're doing an amazing job babe. You're doing great." And just like that I realized something...something that I always knew deep down, but always felt too much guilt to believe.
Sometimes the best for your kids isn't spending an entire day being interactive with them, sometimes what's best for your kids, is giving them the opportunity to interact on their own; to explore their imagination and digest the world around them through the experiences that they create. Of course it's important to love on your children and be intentional with them but it doesn't have to look like spending hour upon hours doing everything they want to do, because chances are...it's not going to be enough.
Don't let your guilt keep you from knowing your own strength as a parent and what you feel is best for your children. Just because you aren't doing life just like the book teaches or how your friend is down the street, trust in your ability to be the parent that God made you to be and stick to your gut!
Challenge yourself to be great everyday but don't let others define your level of greatness.
Party on people...it's Friday and all you parents out there ARE doing a kick ass job! And P.S. because I had such a divided poll yesterday, I will be doing a makeup tutorial on Monday's blog post for those of you looking to "up" your foundation game! #makeupmonday :)
As always, thank you for stopping by!
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I'm going to first start off by saying that I am FAR from a chill mom. I'm sure my oldest sister is reading this saying, "she thinks SHE'S a chill mom!?" Because the truth is, I'm still working on that. AND it obviously takes more than 4 WAYS to become a chill mom but these are by far some of the ways I've accomplished becoming somewhat "chill."Read More
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When you become a mom, there are so many things that you think you “need” to have in order to solidify your chances as a mother; the right diaper bag, stroller, baby carrier, crib, swing, bouncer, rocker, whatever! And after the fact you often find that all those “things” didn’t really matter, they’re in them for so little of a time and so much unnecessary money is spent in the process.Read More