To be honest with you guys, it's been a while since I have had the courage to sit down a write just to write; there's no real explanation really. I often blame it on the season I'm in or because I don't feel like I have much to say. But in reality, I have plenty to say; it's just every time I sit down to say it, I'm bombarded with my many insecurities.
No one will read that. You're sharing too much. That topic is too controversial. No one really cares about what you have to say. That topic won't get you enough pageviews. Have you seen the way you're acting lately? Why would anyone want advice from you?
You get the picture. And as much as I believe in this blog and giving it up would take quite a fight; these are the REAL struggles that I face, that many bloggers face. These are honest and vulnerable thoughts that hold me back from sharing with you. Every time I share my heart, every time I share my life, I'm risking something very close to my heart and at times this out of control feeling gets the best of me.
I've felt rather convicted lately; like I'm not honoring the path God has laid in front of me. This may not make sense to most people because why would I want to share so openly about my life? But for me, two years ago, the Lord called me to share my motherhood triumphs AND trials; He challenged me to humble myself and share my heart. To be transparent and open about my motherhood journey. So when I don't write out of fear of what people may think or out of my own insecurities, it's like I'm handing candy to the enemy. I'm letting him win.
So that's where I'm at and I wanted to share that with you only so you can know how much I love sharing my life with you but how equally hard it is for me. This is my safe place, to come and write about my life, marriage, children, career and dreams.
On that note, life in the Kirby household has been great. I mean, how can it be anything but? We have so much to be thankful for. Of course, we're busy adjusting to new nap schedules (daily), and the ever changing dynamic that comes with having three children but we are loving life.
God is doing so much in our lives, moving in ways that I can't wait to share about. And I'm truly in awe each and every day of how good our Father is. He daily reminds me of His love whether through a phone call from a friend, a comment on my instagram, worship with my children, or His quiet and still voice.
Thank you to everyone that comes to my blog just to read, be inspired, create, dream, or whatever. You all inspire me to keep pursuing the life that the Lord has laid out for me. On that note, I wanted to share a couple fun moments from this past weekend.
We went to a family members wedding in the country and it was breathtaking. We stopped along the way to take some fun pictures by some beautiful white barns and when we actually got to the wedding Justus was in heaven to find a HUGE tractor he could sit on. Hope you enjoy!
As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for stopping by my little spot on the internet. I truly appreciate it, more than words can say! Until next time!