I’m not one to live out of my comfort zone. I don’t like to try new things just for the thrill of it. I’ve always been one to have a routine and follow it like there’s no tomorrow. Because why? Routine’s make me feel accomplished; they make me feel productive; and they always leave me feeling in control.
As we go through this whole house buying/remodeling process (read about it here) there has been a whole lot of unknowns: busted pipes (everywhere), black mold, crappy electrical work, an ant infestation in the tree in our backyard. You get the picture. And each time something comes up I am pushed a little bit more out of my comfort zone.
“But this wasn’t in the plan!” I’ll say, or, “But I thought this remodeling job was going to be done before we had to move in!?” Nothing has been as we have expected it to be (as MANY people have warned us) but yet for me, I still have this lingering expectation; this idea that because it’s what we planned that’s how it should be, right?!
Well I have been absolutely WRONG throughout this entire project! Although I feel extremely blessed to have this home, I feel completely out of control. Not everything can be fixed using our two hands, unexpected delays keep arising, and money is getting tighter and tighter. More than ever things are seeming out of my control and I don’t know how to even begin to handle the stress it places on me. I feel anxiety, uneasiness, frustration, and defeat.
As I write this, I can think of a 110 things that I should be doing right now: painting bedrooms, finishing cabinets, ordering flooring, picking up paint, etc but then again…it’s 7:30 am and I have two sleeping babies and I want nothing more than to snuggle their sleepy-selves and kiss their warm, rosy-red cheeks. As much as it stresses me to know things are completely out of my control, I know that our Father is all-knowing and has everything in control according to His plan. He sure has a funny was of reminding us of that, doesn't He?
Each day brings up a new obstacle, a new worry; but each day we get one step closer to our end goal. We are making this home ours and there is no greater feeling than knowing with each repair, each stroke of a brush, we are that much closer to making this house our home. Even though it' often hard to remember that very simple fact, I am reminded how blessed I am by the amount of help we been given from family and friends. We could not have even begun to go through this process without the help of all of you!
Some of you who aren’t such control freaks like me, probably think this sounds a little whacked out and maybe even completely incomprehensible but for those of you who are…you are totally nodding your head right now and maybe even thinking about a time in YOUR life where things didn’t go as you planned. How did you respond? I would love to hear your stories about how God came through during a time in your life when things didn't seem to be going according to YOUR plan.
To see more pictures from our photoshoot at our new home click here!