This week I have the honor of hosting a very special guest poster to the blog. This woman is not only incredibly driven but extremely encouraging and uplifting. I feel so blessed to have connected with her and now share with the rest of you this woman's knowledge.
Kelsey Van Kirk is a Lifestyle & Clarity Coach for wives and moms and Founder of The Home Loving Wife community. She is a wife, mama to four lovely princesses and passionate about inspiring and equipping women just like YOU to create and live grace-filled lives full of balance, purpose, happiness and fulfillment! You can connect with her more on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest, or in her members-only Facebook community, The Home Loving Wife Sisterhood!
Do you ever have those moments in life when you feel like you’re watching it play out in front of you, either in slow-motion or fast-forward? You’re no longer the main character, but rather a bystander gawking at the trainwreck unfolding right before your very eyes? Maybe your life isn’t the actual trainwreck….but you certainly are?
It’s moments like those in my life when I end up completely falling apart. I’m talking throw my hands up, pull the covers over my head, binge on an entire box of Rice Krispies treats and alternate between sobbing into my pillow and trying to sleep away the crazy in my brain.
If you’ve ever been in this place, you know how much it totally and completely sucks. Especially for us wives and mamas. You see, we no longer have the luxury of being able to check out and wallow in our pity parties or our emotional meltdowns or our complete inability to get our crap together. We have husbands and kiddos and households to think about! Life doesn’t stop just because we can’t hang. So what’s a girl to do?!
As a busy wife, mama to four kiddos ages 6 and under, homemaker and entrepreneur I am no stranger to what it feels like to be disorganized, overwhelmed, stressed out to the max and completely chaotic…..without any clue how to pull myself out of the funk. It’s no easy task when you’re stuck all alone in the middle of the quicksand.
This is why it is so essential to prepare for these moments in advance. As wives and moms I think there is no greater way to show ourselves and our families love than to take care of ourselves AND set ourselves up for success! Just like a warrior trains for weeks, months, years in advance for the battles he knows he will fight, we need to train ourselves in habits and practices that will prepare us for those moments in life that will threaten our sanity. And they will come.
Here are a few of my best tips for learning how to bring order to chaos as a wife and mom during the crazy times.
5 Ways To Bring Order To Chaos As A Busy Wife & Mom:
1. Breathe in fresh air
As soon as you feel yourself start to bottle up tension or get overwhelmed, head outside for some fresh air. Spend a few minutes taking in some good, deep breaths. Close your eyes, breathe in calm and breathe out the stress. Allow yourself to soak in the momentary silence and appreciate the beauty of nature surrounding you.
2. Do something physical
Anytime you’re dealing with anxiety, frustration or even lack of motivation, getting your blood pumping can do a world of good for both relieving tension and energizing you. Physical activity pumps you full of endorphins that will make you happy (and we all remember what Elle Woods said about endorphins!) Go for a walk around the block, do a few jumping jacks in your living room or turn on some Taylor Swift and dance your little heart out as you shake it off!
3. Freshen up
I don’t know about you, but when I look like crap I tend to feel like crap. So one of the best things you can do to kick yourself into gear is to freshen up a bit. Put on real clothes (sometimes the “loungewear” aka pajamas just have to go), brush your teeth, put on a bit of makeup, tousle your hair and - BAM! I guarantee you’ll feel like a new woman ready to conquer the world!
4. Straighten up around the house
This is one of my BEST kept secrets. I’ve actually found that when I get upset cleaning can be a great stress-reliever. Now I’m not talking scrubbing toilets (although if that’s what works for you, more power to you!) Instead, do a quick walk-through of the main areas of your house and just pick up as you go. Throw the blankets and pillows back on the couch, get your kids to help put away the legos and Barbies, get all the dishes out of the sink and into the dishwasher and maybe make your bed and clear off your nightstand. Things won’t be perfect, but you’d be amazed by how much you can get done in 15 minutes and what an impact it will make! We experience more calm when we create environments that foster it.
5. Come up with a game plan
Once you’re in a better headspace, feeling a bit more in control of yourself and less like you want to run away and sneak into an all-day movie marathon at your local movie theater to binge on popcorn and candy all by yourself, it’s time to come up with a plan of action. You might have gotten yourself out of the deep end, but if you’re still in the shallow end it only takes one good wave to knock you back down again. Take a few minutes to figure out 1 or 2 key things that will propel you forward. What was it that sent you into the spiral of chaos? Was it poor planning? A toddler tantrum? PMS? A series of random and unfortunate events? When you know where things went wrong, it becomes more clear what needs to happen to set you back on a positive track. But stay focused on only 1 or 2 tasks for moving forward, otherwise I guarantee you’ll overwhelm yourself all over again.
Life can have a funny way of cycling through the same scenes over and over again. Which can be maddening and even drive us to actual, certifiable insanity. But, I prefer to look at it like this: when we’ve lived and survived through something, we have a unique opportunity to learn from it and do better the next time we encounter something similar. And as moms we have an even greater opportunity to teach our children as we learn ourselves.
So next time you find yourself spiraling headfirst into Wonderland without a parachute, remember to pull these tools out of your toolbox. And also remember you are not alone. We’ve all been there, and we’ll all be there again. But it’s up to us whether or not we will train ourselves to grow stronger as we push through the chaos toward the peace waiting for us on the other side.